Void
by Mockingbird917
Summary: Miroku's past beyond his curse has always been a void. Unfortunately for him, it doesn't want to stay that way. Minor language, violence.
1. Kagome

Disclaimer: If you think you are reading a story right out of the original author's hard drive on a fan fiction site, you've got problems.

The wind whistled sharply between the trees as it carried millions of snowflakes and threw them back into the faces of my small traveling party. I shivered as I pulled Inuyasha's large haori closer to my body. The hanyou was presently a few feet in front of me, head bowed against the wind as he led the way. He did not seem to be overly affected by the cold, as evidenced by his bare feet and the fact he had given up his haori to me, but his visibility and sense of smell were severly hampered. I hoped we were still headed in the right direction.

Behind us, Miroku and Sango trudged through the snow. Miroku's arm was around her waist and for once, Sango did not seem to mind. However, I suspected this was more because she was having the most trouble of all of us. Sango's haraikotsu, which was firmly strapped to her back, seemed to act as a bit of a sail in the wind, one that Sango's small body weight seemed to have serious problems controlling. Behind them, Kirara moved doggedly forward against the wind and a tiny Shippou attempted to hide in the fur of her neck.

We had been moving like this for at least an hour. The blizzard had come with little warning. One moment it was merely a cold and exceedingly gray day; the next, we could barely see the noses on our faces. Inuyasha insisted that if we just headed north we would run into a town. Apparently the wind coming from the north held the distant scent of wood smoke. So we did the only think we could do: keep moving.

Traveling in this weather seemed to cause a lot of uncomfortable aggravations. My eyes felt dry with trying to squint into the wind. The snow at my feet had gotten high enough that not only was it difficult to walk through, but it came over the top of my boots and melted, making my socks wet. Unable to feel my toes walking became difficult and I had stumbled a number of times.

I was concentrating on these problems when I failed to notice Inuyasha stop in front of me and I suddenly walked right into his back. I gripped onto his shirt to prevent myself from falling and was surprised at how cold he felt.

"I told you I'd get us here," he said with satisfaction. Startled, I looked around and realized that 'here' was the beginnings of a village. I could just barely make out the outlines of a few small huts through the snow.

"This way," Miroku called through the howling wind as he and Sango approached. Too weary to question the authority in his voice I moved to follow him as he lead us to the right. I was surprised when Inuyasha did the same without hesitation.

The monk, still holding Sango, lead us to a larger compound. Several meters ahead of me, I could see him pounding on the gate but no sound reached my ears amidst the wind. He seemed to speak with someone very briefly and then I was following him inside.

The heavy gate slid shut behind us, leaving us in a sudden and eerie silence. Shaking the snow from my shoulders and head, I started to look around the sparse room. Miroku and a man I did not recognize stood in one corner speaking. Sango was leaning against the wall, looking pale and tired. I imagined I looked much the same. Even Inuyasha's eyes seemed dulled with exhaustion as he began to shiver uncontrollably. In fact, he seemed to be the worst off of all of us.

"...can't say just how grateful we are," Miroku was saying.

The other man was older, probably in his fifties. He was dressed well, but practically for this cold weather. He spoke to Miroku as though he knew him quite well. "Please, Miroku-sama, it is my honor to house you and your friends for as long as you require the shelter. But you are all frozen stiff; follow me and we'll get you thawed out."

I did not have time to wonder about how the monk knew this man as we were quickly ushered into the compound's kitchen where we huddled around the fire gratefully. Udo, as the man turned out to be named, bustled around behind us, preparing some warm broth in order to "warm us good and proper from the inside out," as he said.

As he worked, I laid a worried hand on Inuyasha's still shaking shoulder. "Are you alright, Inuyasha?" His skin felt cold even to my half frozen fingers. He kept his gaze fixed on the fire and nodded rather unconvincingly.

"Miroku-sama," Udo said almost apologetically as he handed Miroku and Sango two bowls of the broth. He turned to grab two more. "Forgive me for asking, but are you here to see Leiko-sama?" I looked up just as he spoke to see Miroku flinch at the name.

Curiosity quickly got the better of me. "Miroku, you have been here before?" He had not mentioned anything on the journey even before the ridiculous weather prevented any sort of conversation. Now it seemed that not only was Miroku known here, but well respected.

Udo looked as if he were going to say something, but Miroku smoothly interrupted him before he even spoke. "Kagome-sama, I have done much traveling in my life and helped many people with my knowledge of the ways of Buddha."

"M-m-m-more like m-mooched off them," Inuyasha stuttered through clenched teeth.

Miroku ignored him as he sipped the warm broth from the bowl. I had to admit, the broth made me feel worlds better, although exhaustion was setting in quickly.

"Yes, yes," Udo said happily as he took my empty bowl from me. "Miroku-sama has been most kind to our village in sharing his wisdom and strength. There will be many happy reunions tomorrow once this nasty bit of weather is past."

I glanced over at the monk. He seemed a bit uncomfortable at the man's mention of reunions but smiled easily. It was hard to tell with Miroku sometimes what he was actually thinking. "Udo, much as I would like to talk about how much has surely changed since I was last here, my companions and I are rather tired..."

"Think nothing of it," the small man said shaking his hands and looking appalled at the thought. I got the impression that he took his responsibilities as host very seriously. "Follow me, follow me," he said as he ushered us into another part of the compound, setting Sango, Shippou and I in one room and Miroku and Inuyasha in one right next to it.

I was worried about Inuyasha; he had been unusually quiet as well as having a hard time recovering from the cold, but Miroku gave me a quick wink, which clearly told me he would take care of him. I was too tired to put any more thought to it or our lodgings for the night. Within moments, both Sango and I were sound asleep under generous blankets with Shippou and Kirara curled up in one of the corners, snoring softly.

A/N: Hiya, pals! Long time me no writey. Ok, that's not a real sentence. Anyway this is the first chapter of my shiny new fan fiction; isn't that terribly exciting? Yeah, you're right not really. So not much going on yet, but never fear, stuff shall happen or as they say, "Shit shall hit the fan." I'm just setting the shit right next to the fan in this chapter... Let me know you're reading, even if it's only to say, "Hey, I'm reading." Thank ye much.


	2. Miroku

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha and I don't know what I'd do if I did.

xxxxxx

I woke up with an eminent feeling of dread that I was hard put to place. I stared unblinking at the ceiling above me, pushing thoughts out of my mind. I preferred this to trying to grasp them as my mind slowly woke. After a few minutes, I was snapped out of my light meditation by a loud sneeze from the corner. I sighed. The blizzard and the destination we had happened upon jumped back to my mind and made me want to groan.

I turned my head to look at Inuyasha. All in all, he looked pretty damn miserable. He had pulled one of the blankets off of the mat prepared for him and wrapped it around his shoulders. As usual, he still preferred sleeping sitting up in a corner rather than laying like a normal person. His face was pale and his normally clear and vibrant eyes were a kind of muddled, duller color than usual. He snorted when he caught me looking at him and turned his head away.

With a sigh, I pushed myself out of bed and stretched. Just as I finished dressing in my normal robes, there was a light knock on the door. I slid it open to reveal a refreshed looking Kagome smiling up at me.

"Ohayo, Miroku," she said cheerfully. "I was wondering if Inuyasha was feeling ok..." I stepped aside so she could see past me. She quickly passed me and was kneeling in front of the surly hanyou. She raised her hand to his forehead. "Inuyasha, you've got a fever! Why didn't you say anything? Come lay down."

It was at this I slipped out of the room. Kagome was more than a match for Inuyasha, especially if he was sick. I made my way down familiar corridors to the small kitchen where a welcome sight greeted me. "Sachi-sama," I breathed happily. She looked up from pouring Sango a cup of tea and gave me a smile.

"Miroku," she set the tea pot down and hurried over to give me a hug. Sachi was short and with petite and gentle features. About thirty years of age and a widower, she had a depth of wisdom that always surprised me. I had always found her to be easily approachable over any subject and had been my confidant while I had remained here years ago.

I returned the hug gratefully, inhaling the familiar soft scent of juniper that clung to her, and just for old time's sake, gave her bottom a nice squeeze. She squeaked as though scandalized even though she must have expected it. "Good to see some things don't change, hentai," she said with a grin and slap across my face.

I grinned, rubbing the now tender cheek. "It is good to see you again, Sachi-sama. My companions and I are doubly grateful for you hospitality."

She snorted and pushed me down to kneel in front of the table. "It's Sachi," she said firmly, pouring me a cup of tea. "Let's not have any of this "sama" business between us. And about my hospitality, you know you are always welcome in this house and your companions seem to be much better mannered than some." She lifted an eyebrow at me as she handed me the steaming cup.

I was aware of Sango watching this exchange with smiling eyes. She looked much better than she had last night, I though with relief. Pale and exhausted last night, I was pleasantly surprised to find her completely recovered and once again I marveled at her strength. With a sigh I put down my cup.

"Sachi-san has been telling me how helpful you were when you came here last," Sango said quietly. She was giving me an odd look, and I suddenly dreaded what Sachi may have told her. Of course, I should give Sachi more credit than that. She could read body language like a book and lie like the most shiftless street urchin. And I trusted that she would not reveal things I had not prepared my companions for without at least consulting me first. When Sango continued to give me that odd look, I thought, _No, it's not Sachi giving things away; it's me._

"Miroku," Sachi said quietly, "Could I have a word with you?"

I looked up with a bit of surprise. "Of course, Sachi-sama. Sango-chan, if you'll excuse us." Sachi led me out to the small room where Udo had first let us in last night.

"Miroku, I know you probably don't want to talk about this," she said as soon as she slid the door shut. "But it doesn't snow this hard often and when it does, the snow is here to stay for some time. Which means so are you." She gave me a large hard look which I returned steadily. "You won't be able to avoid Leiko and it's obvious that you haven't told Sango about her."

"Sachi," I sighed. "There is no reason why I should have told Sango about Leiko."

"Bull shit," she said, cutting off my next comment. "I don't know how deep your relationship goes with the girl, but I'd have to be blind not to see the attraction at all. Leiko isn't blind either, as you well know, nor is she very kind when she feels slighted. That girl deserves some advance warning. And," she said, interrupting me as my mouth opened. "Don't even think you can avoid Leiko for how ever long you are here."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You always were terribly blunt."

She shrugged. "I never got far with being coy, so I just dropped it." She paused, as though considering whether or not to speak her mind on something. Finally she said, "I take it your views have changed somewhat, just based on your traveling companions."

I flinched visibly and felt the familiar remorse of the past. At first I did not think I would answer, but the words found their way to my lips unbidden. "I made a lot of mistakes in my naiveté. Perhaps I am just now learning a little from them." I shrugged. "It's a work in progress."

I grinned at her, which she returned, and we both stepped back into the kitchen. Kagome was now sitting with Sango. They both looked up as we entered. "Kagome-sama, how is Inuyasha doing?" I asked as I sat next to Sango.

The young miko rolled her eyes in with an exacerbated sigh. "He's being a complete idiot. He's obviously got a cold, and no wonder, what with walking around with no shoes and no coat in the snow, and he won't take any medicine. He won't use a Kleenex because he won't admit he's got a cold and he won't leave the room because he feels awful. He just refuses to do anything that makes any sense!"

There was a moment of silence after Kagome's outburst during which we all took long sips of the tea Sachi had provided. Finally it was Sango who broke the silence.

"Sachi-san, how long have you known Houshi-sama?" she asked with an intent look. Briefly, I wondered, suddenly a bit annoyed, why she had not asked me.

"Miroku wandered into town around seven years ago, now," she said with a smile at me. "He was so cute, you wouldn't believe. He could barely hold his staff upright; it was a good three feet taller than him then."

I tried to maintain my dignity as the three women promptly forgot theirs as giggling fits over took them. "Oh, he's blushing," Sachi said. I rolled my eyes. I was _not_ blushing. And my staff had _not_ been three feet taller than me.

"You must have been awfully young, Miroku," Kagome asked, clearly taking pity on me. "It couldn't have been very safe traveling by yourself."

"I was a year older than you are now," I replied. _Besides, when you're sixteen and already prepared to die, you feel kind of anxious to start living._ Unconsciously, I tightened my fist over the Kazaana. With a sigh, I said, "I had been trained to know how to look after myself and I always knew most of my life would be spent searching for Naraku. It seemed silly to wait."

"He says that," Sachi said with a wily look in her eyes, "but he stayed here for a year and a half."

"Why did you stay so long?" Sango asked.

"I didn't really plan on it, but I got trapped here after two days because of a snow storm," I explained remembering that that had been the most snow I had ever seen in my life at that time. "I made friends with Sachi and some others in the village. It was easy to stay."

I would have been questioned further, I was sure, if Shippou had not chosen that moment to join us. I felt quite frankly grateful for the interruption. He chattered to Kagome and Sachi mostly about the journey and just the things that most children talked about to new adults. Sango remained quiet though. I felt her eyes on me, but I avoided them.

It happened so suddenly that for a second I felt my lungs constrict in pure panic. There was the noise of someone sliding the outside doors open and a voice called into the house, "Ohayo, Sachi-san, I just came to check and make sure you were well after the blizzard last night."

The shoji to the kitchen opened just as I jumped to my feet. Leiko and I stared at each other for a moment. She looked much the same as the last time I had seen her. She was tall, taller than I, with a slender body. Her long hair hung straight and unrestrained around her pretty face. Her full lips parted in a small intake of breath. I had hoped to have more time to prepare for this inevitable meeting.

"Miroku!" she stammered, sounding pleasantly surprised. I wanted to believe her face and voice, but I knew better. She had always been an excellent actress. She would have fooled me if I had not known better.

I hesitated before bowing stiffly to her. "Leiko-sama." She flinched slightly at the honorific and the bow, but I was determined to meet her eyes steadily. This was going to be a profoundly uncomfortable afternoon. I only hoped I had a slight advantage.

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A/N: Yo, it's another chapter. Ok, I didn't say this in the last chapter, but this story is my sorry attempt at a romantic type story. I haven't seen all of the Inuyasha that's out there yet, but for what I have seen, it kind of seems as though much of Miroku's life is kind of glossed over. We see him when he's a kid and then in the series I'm guessing he's about 23-24ish. So I'm filling in some holes to my own liking. I'm trying to make my chapters a bit longer, because who doesn't like long chapters? Put your hand down.... Well, that's chapter 2 and I'm off to chapter 3 now. By the time this is posted I'll probably have a good bit down since my internet is down right now (probably at least a day or two from when you are now reading this.) Does that make any sense? Didn't think so. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.


	3. Sango

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of its characters.

xxxxxxx

Miroku looked like he was ready to fight some sort of awful demon instead of looking at an incredibly attractive woman of child bearing age. I had never seen him react this way to a woman, and I instantly wondered who she was to cause the look of extreme concentration with the slightest edge of fear on his face.

My first impression of this Leiko-sama who had been brought up last night was that she was a very cold and hard woman. She was pale and seemed extra white in contrast with her black hair and black kimono. Her face would have been girlish and trusting if her eyes did not give her away. Her eyes were blue, first off. Not unheard of, but still very rare. They were icy to look into. _What does she want with Miroku?_

Miroku and Leiko probably would have just stared each other down for some time if Sachi had not intervened. "Leiko, come sit down." She began pouring another cup of tea. "We're all fine as you can see; Udo is out back bringing in fire wood. But the storm has brought us some visitors." Sachi proceeded to introduce Kagome, Shippou, and me.

The woman afforded each of us a small glance and a quick nod before she turned back to Miroku. "What interesting friends you have, Miroku. Especially the kit; he's charming." It was said kindly but I sensed malice behind it. If Miroku understood any sting behind the words he did not show it.

"Yes, Shippou has been incredibly helpful during our travels for one so young." The kit beamed under the compliment, but the attention of the room was clearly not on him. Even Sachi seemed tense.

"Sachi-san," Leiko said looking up into the face of the older woman. "I wonder if Miroku and I might have a word alone with each other."

Kagome reacted first. "I was just going to check on Inuyasha anyway. Shippou-chan, why don't you come and lend a hand?" Kagome and the fox kit quickly retreated into the house.

Sachi hesitated, glancing over at Miroku who smiled blandly at her. She nodded slowly before turning to me. "Sango, why don't I show you my gardens. I think you'll find them quite lovely even in the snow." I was terribly curious about what Miroku and Leiko were going to talk about but I reluctantly followed Sachi out.

Sachi led me around the compound to the center which opened up into her gardens. "Sachi-san," I ventured slowly. "I know you may think that this is none of my business, but..."

"You want to know about Leiko?" she interrupted with a nod. "By all rights, I shouldn't tell you anything. Miroku is a very dear friend to me despite the short time I knew him and the long time that we were separated." She paused looking out into the frozen garden. "I told you this morning that my husband is dead?"

"Yes, some time ago, wasn't it?" I watched her face carefully.

"Seven years ago to be exact." My head snapped around to look at her in surprise. "Yes, that was about a month before Miroku came here. I was lucky enough to have an arranged marriage in which there was love. Taki was everything to me. He was killed in a hunting accident after eight years of marriage." She paused. The look in her face was one of faded pain and bitterness. It was odd; I could see how hard it had been on her but was left with the impression that she had come to peace with her past.

"I was close to term in my first pregnancy when he died." She gave a wry smile. "We had waited so long for a child. Two weeks later the child was born dead. I don't tell you this so you pity me, but so that you understand what Miroku did for me."

"I couldn't pity someone who has so much strength after so much hardship," I said truthfully. I understood losing family in rapid succession, receiving one blow after another. I could not imagine the strength it would take to be at peace with that.

Sachi gave me a small smile as though she sensed something of our common pain. "You are still wondering what this has to do with your monk. Well, when Miroku showed up, he was as caring and kind a friend as I could ever wish for. He never treated me like I was broken or fragile like most of the village. It was no wonder I fell for him."

I gaped at her in surprise. _She fell for my Miroku? That hentai?_ "Fell for him?" I squeaked with wide eyes. She laughed.

"Surely it's not so surprising," she said with a smile. She became serious again very quickly. "He was a boy, Sango, and I allowed myself to forget that. He turned me down, though. He told me I was just lonely. He told me to give it time to heal. I laughed at him. I told him that it couldn't heal." She sighed.

"He stuck by me though. He made sure that I wasn't alone, which is what I really needed. He was the one that suggested that my half brother, Udo, come to live with me. He found ways to help me that no one else could." She sighed and looked at me. "He's a better man than he lets on. Don't judge him too harshly for the mistakes of the past."

She turned and walked back into the house without another look at me. I stared out at the frozen garden, stunned. A woman came on to Miroku, and he turned her down. _What would he do if I showed an interest_, I thought suddenly. I was attracted to Miroku; I won't lie even to myself on that matter. But I had not really thought about any sort of urgency. When I was ready, I assumed he would be too. But now I was filled with a doubt I had never even considered: rejection.

I knew, however, Sachi's intent had not been to foster doubt. She had told me all she had because I had asked about him and this Leiko woman. _Don't judge him too harshly for the mistakes of the past._ What mistakes? I sighed. The only thing I could think of was that Miroku had turned her down, not out of a brotherly type of concern, but because he already had someone else.

xxxxxxx

Leiko took a sip of tea calmly before she spoke. "So after al this time you show up. Don't you have anything you want to say to me?" she asked with piercing eyes. I returned her gaze with a glare.

"We both know perfectly well why I'm here."

She frowned. "So nothing has changed between us? And here I had thought you had changed."

"I've changed," I admitted. "And I will say that I handled things very poorly then. So yes, I'm sorry. But you know I was not wrong about most of it."

Her lips thinned in anger. "You are a fool Miroku. You always were, but I loved you all the same and no matter what you say now, you loved me too."

I stared at the bottom of my empty cup, my jaw set painfully tight. "Yes." When I spoke it was barely above a whisper and I cursed how small I sounded. "I did love you." There was a long moment of silence. I did not think there was anything left to say between us. I did not know what else she could possibly want with me, but I knew there had to be more.

xxxxxxx

A/N: It has been pointed out that Miroku is actually 19. He he he, oops. Yeah, actually I read something to this effect just after posting the previous chapter. Oh well. Everyone in anime is so frickin' young. I'm just going to pretend he's older and you can imagine he's 453 years old and possessed by a genie if you want. I don't care. But thanks for pointing it out and for the subsequent advice. Thanks for reading and paying attention. Anyway guys, it's probably going to be a while for the next chapter. Can we say Organic chem? Let me know what you think; perhaps it will inspire me not to study and to write more fan fiction this week.


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